My light.

I love him. He's done so much for me in these past months and I love him for it. I love him for himself.
I find myself doing things that I never thought I would be doing. I find myself settling down in a small canyon, with children, pondering more and taking care of the house and yet I don't feel one bit adverse to any of the idea. As long as I'm by his side I feel no shame towards those things like I would have in the past.

If he asked it of me I think I might just stay home, but he wouldn't and he hasn't. Instead he wishes to maybe switch out every few days to watch the children. I find myself wanting his children. I want everything to do with him and I can't help this bliss. We had a small talk the other day where he mentioned....or nearly mentioned marriage- I think. I'm glad that he didn't ask me because I'm afraid that in this still new relationship I would have accepted so blindly without thinking what it would have meant for our children and us. I would have said yes even if my life depended on me saying no.

If it ever comes to that though, I believe that I'll still say yes.