Someone

I'm afraid, to be honest. I want this. I want it from the depths of me, but that one small part is afraid that it's beginning again just like the last time. It's all because of men and my weak will. I have no will to stay the same for a long period of time, especially if it is boring and dull to me. I've tried to become the lady I was meant to be, I really have.

I'm worried for this child's future. Who is going to be in it? There are several as of now. The Tribe is good to me. Who will be the father? Will Talil still be with her? Will he want to stay with her even through the faults of the mother?

I simply....just want to be beside myself with loneliness again. Maybe that will teach me the meaning of the people around me.

Hell, I've no idea what I'm talking about. I'm only rambling now.

*Something seems to have been written, only to have a large ink blot as if a spill had occurred*